Opinion esej

Mozda nesto tipa: 

My opinion on people caging in helpless animals in their homes and for people attractions are mainly (wrong or good sta odlucis), becaouse animals (dont have emotions - have emotions) and they (should-shouldnt) be treated as people.

To je koliko sam mogo za sad smislit

Ne,nikako takav uvod.U uvodu nikad ne iznosiš svoje mišljenje.Uvod treba biti objektan i,kao što mu i samo ime kaže,uvesti u temu o kojoj se govori.

@OP:Sada mi se stvarno ne piše ništa,ali ti napiši uvod(ili nekoliko),a mi ćemo ti reći da li valja.

Jao,ovo je loše,izuzev gramatičkih pogrešaka i loše sintagme.Evo ti par naputaka:

1.Uvod,razradba i zaključak neka budu u svojem paragrafu.Novi paragraf uvuci.

2.Uvod i zaključak ne smiju biti predugi(definitivno ne duži od razradbe,maksimalno pola,tj.ako imaš paragrafe za i protiv,neka uvod i zaključak ne budu veći od polovice jednog od ta dva.Uvod i zaključak podjednake dužine.

3.Isto vrijedi i za paragrafe za i protiv.

4.Nikad nemoj stavljati svoje mišljenje u uvod jer je to pogrešno.

5.U zaključku možeš iznijeti svoje mišljenje,ali svakako napravi i sažetak onoga o čemu si pisao.

6.Nemoj koristiti vulgarizme,žargonizme.Nemoj vrijeđati nikoga(a to si napravio).

7.Ne znam koliko riječi treba imati esej,pretpostavljam 250.Stoga koristi formu 3-7-7-3(tri reda teksta za uvod i zaključak,7 za for i against).

Uvod:

Everbody know that wild animals are very dangerous.Many people think that keeping wild animals in cages as pets is cruel.It is my own opinion that only stupid people keep wild animals as pets.They don t know how it is dangerous,and in my opinion these people should be punished.

Dva puta si iznio svoje mišljenje,te si napisao stupid people(vrijeđanje).Nemoj to nikako raditi.

Kako bi to trebalo izgledati(obrati pozornost na gramatičke greške koje sam ispravio-točke,zarezi,pravilno napisane riječi,sintagma):

Everybody knows that wild animals are very dangerous.Today,it is not strange to see people keep all sorts of animals,even the wild ones.Many people think that it is cruel to keep wild animals caged as pets,while others believe that it is not cruel at all.

To bi bio korektan uvod.Govoriš općenito o temi o kojoj ćeš raspravljati i uvodiš čitatelja u samu temu,bez svoga mišljenja.

Za:

there are several advantages of keeping wild animals as pets.Firstly people who have wild animals as pets can open zoo.Everybody konw that zoos are places of education:zoos can help children to appreciate nature.Secondy,ownersof wild animals can train them,For example:to perform tricks.Trainers train wild animlas to perform various tricks.We can see that in circus.

Ovo je sasvim u redu.Ali zadnja rečenica nikako ne paše,tj.uopće ne bi trebala biti posebna rečenica.

Kako bi to trebalo izgledati:

There are several advantages of keeping wild animals as pets.Firstly,people who keep wild animals as pets can open a zoo.Futhermore,everybody knows that zoos are educational places,because they can help children to appreciate nature.Secondly,owners of wild animals can train them to perform various tricks.Trainers can do that too,as we can see in circus.

Protiv:

First of all,most of the wild animals is very dangerous.For example:Lions,tigers,gorillas.At any time wild animals can hit the ban.For example:when max goes to feed animal.Secondy,the chages are very small,and wild animals can become very restless,andand increase the chance that the animal attacked a man.Also it is know that small space affects on health of the animals,animal shorther lives.

Treću,četvrtu i petu rečenicu uopće ne razumijem,tj.ne razumijem što si htio reći.Veliki minus.Greška je što si počeo sa first of all i nastavio sa secondly(secondly koristiš ako prije imaš firstly,a ne first of all jer je malo čudno).

Kako bi to trebalo izgledati:

On the other hand,most of the wild animals are very dangerous,like lions,tigers and gorillas,etc.Wild animals can hurt people when they try to feed them,for instance.To add to the point,cages in which they are kept are very small and wild animals can become very restless.This increases the chance of animal attacking the human.Also,small space affects the health of wild animals,so they live shorter.

Zaključak:

In conclusion of keeping animals in cage as pets has more disadvantages than advantage.In my opinion,the bigest disadvantages that cages have a bad effect on animals,and wild animals.In our planet exsist many species of animals,small and big.Wild animals have emotions and they should be treated as people.

Zaključak je vrlo dobar,ali opet sintagma ti je izrazito loša.

Kako bi to trebalo izgledati;

In conclusion,keeping wild animals as pets has more advantages than disadvantages.Many animal species exist on our planet,ranging from the biggest ones to the smalles ones.In my opinion,animals have emotions and should be treated like humans.

U komadu:

                                                                                                                              Everybody knows that wild animals are very dangerous.Today,it is not strange to see people keep all sorts of animals,even the wild ones.Many people think that it is cruel to keep wild animals caged as pets,while others believe that it is not cruel at all.

                                                                                                                              There are several advantages of keeping wild animals as pets.Firstly,people who keep wild animals as pets can open a zoo.Futhermore,everybody knows that zoos are educational places,because they can help children to appreciate nature.Secondly,owners of wild animals can train them to perform various tricks.Trainers can do that too,as we can see in circus.

                                                                                                                              On the other hand,most of the wild animals are very dangerous,like lions,tigers and gorillas,etc.Wild animals can hurt people when they try to feed them,for instance.To add to the point,cages in which they are kept are very small and wild animals can become very restless.This increases the chance of animal attacking the human.Also,small space affects the health of wild animals,so they live shorter.

                                                                                                                              In conclusion,keeping wild animals as pets has more advantages than disadvantages.Many animal species exist on our planet,ranging from the biggest ones to the smalles ones.In my opinion,animals have emotions and should be treated like humans.

Moram priznati da nikad nisam vidio takvu formu,ali u redu.Ako je tako,radi prema tome.Nadam se da sam ti pomogao.

A valjda ovisi do svakoga kako se šta radi... ovo bi se isto moglo svesti i na 3 paragrafa da se za i protiv spoje u jedan veliki koji bi bio raspravljanje o temi.